


Obsession

by PAPERSK1N



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Awkwardness, Businessman!Ryan, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Meg is sweetness n light as usual, NSFW, Ryan is so awkward, Unexpected Fatherhood, babysitter!au, but it all works out ok, college kid!Meg, lil bit angsty at the end, turnwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:25:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8297423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PAPERSK1N/pseuds/PAPERSK1N
Summary: Being thrust into an unexpected fatherhood whilst simultaneously being a successful businessman over at Achievement Hunter isn’t exactly an easy job- so, on Geoff’s recommendation Ryan hires Meg: a young, quirky babysitter.It isn’t his intention to fall for her within seconds of them meeting, but fate has a funny way of throwing curveballs like that.There’s just a few problems:Ryan’s in his thirties. Meg is barely twenty.Ryan is a full-time businessman. Meg is an unfocused college kid who babysits on the side.Ryan knows, instantly, that he’s in love with her. Meg does not.





	1. PART ONE

PART ONE

 

 

Ryan had found that being a single father was way more of a full-time job than being a businessman ever could be.

The last few months had been a blur. He’d suddenly found himself with a daughter- halfway through her childhood and more or less abandoned on his doorstep when her so-called ‘mother’ died of a drug overdose. He barely remembered _Lisa-Marie_ from college. Apparently she had fallen pregnant before disappearing to Chicago without so much as a text. Ryan couldn’t blame her- he was far to unfocused to ever make much of a good father, back then.

But, fate had a funny way of delivering punishments and gifts simultaneously. Belle was beautiful- a small girl with wild curly blonde hair and large, dark eyes. She was six, her birthday was October twelfth and her favourite show on TV was The Walking Dead. Ryan didn’t know much about her besides that.

Upon her sudden introduction to his family-of-one, Ryan had taken two full months off of work to try and cram in six years of fatherhood. He’d done a fairly decent job- and Belle seemed to adore him almost as much as he cherished her. However, eventually he had to get back to work otherwise he was never going to be able to afford the two-hundred-dollar _Barbie Pleasure Palace_ she had her heart set on from Santa for Christmas.

“I can recommend you a babysitter.” They were talking on the phone, but Ryan could vividly picture Geoff, sat in his office with his chair rocked back and his feet on the desk, chewing at the Chinese food he’d had Jack fetch for him. “Young girl- I used her for a couple years until Griffon started sawing full time. She started college last year so she needs the cash to keep her going through school. I’ll give you her number.”

“Awesome, thanks Geoff.” Ryan smiled, rubbing Belle’s hair softly as she slept with her head in his lap. “What’s the girls name?”

“Meg. Meg Turney.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Meg arrived for her first day at work with a wide smile, bright blue hair and a pink My-Little-Pony T-shirt. Ryan knew, instantly, that she would be perfect for the job.

“Sorry.” He laughed awkwardly, dithering in the doorway. Belle was sat in front of the widescreen TV, _Nickelodeon_ playing quietly in the background as she leafed through a pony magazine Meg had brought for her. “I’m just… nervous about leaving her. We haven’t really spent a day apart since... yeah”

“Aw.” Meg smiled, and Ryan marvelled at the whiteness of her teeth. Her mouth was perfectly crafted, lips dark pink and the perfect thickness, framing her smile. “That’s adorable. I promise, if there’s any problems, I’ll call you right away.”

“Alright.” Ryan nodded. “Thank you for this, Meg.”

“Thank _you,_ Mr Haywood.” She smiled- did she _ever_ _stop_ smiling? It was almost unnerving how she made him want to grin along with every word she said. “Hopefully Belle and I will click and I’ll be around way more often.”

Ryan suddenly found that he had lost the ability to form words, so instead, vaguely mumbled and nodded and smiled awkwardly, slipping out the door with one last longing look at his daughter. However, as he made his way down into the garage of his building, he instead thought about Meg.

She was… enrapturing. Short and slim but with a distinctively womanly shape to her, wide hips and round thighs with a tiny waist. Her neck was slender and long, leading up to that perfect, thrilling smile. Her eyes sparkled, impossibly darkened behind thick rimmed glasses. Blue, shining hair sat on her shoulders.

Ryan didn’t think he’d ever seen a girl like it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was an obvious choice for Meg to become his regular baby-sitter. Working at _Achievement_ _Hunter_ , a sub-division of the media conglomerate _Rooster Teeth_ was more than a full-time job, and just taking two months off was totally unheard of considering his senior position as Deputy Chief of Technological Communications was very sought after. Jack had been acting in his place, and Ryan knew he was lucky to have a boss as understanding as Geoff to keep his position open.

Meg was perfect, because she was always available during the day. Most of her classes were taken in the middle of the day, hour long lectures or seminars around one thirty- which was conveniently his lunch break so he could come back home and spend time with Belle.

Belle _adored_ Meg. Every time he came home for lunch as Meg left for school, the little girl would gush for the entirety of the two hours about what they had done together that day in the apartment, from painting to building sculptures out of clay- or simply sitting together and playing on the Xbox. Meg, much like Ryan, had quite the liking to X-box games- so Ryan gave her full reign of his library. Currently, her and Belle were working their way through _Guacamele_.

“-And, then we watched My Little Pony but-but then I wanted to play more Legos so Meg turned it off and then we built castles for Princess Peach and Daisy, and then we played with them for like… ten hours.”

“Ten hours? I thought it was at _least_ a full day in princess time.”

Ryan looked up to see Meg enter the apartment. Cutting her a key had been one of his better decisions, because when she entered unannounced he always got the slightest, petty thrill from her honeyed voice.

“Meg!” Belle cheered, scrambling off the sofa and running towards Meg as fast as her legs could carry her. She bounded into the babysitter, hugging her legs tightly. Meg just laughed, setting two coffees down on the kitchen isle.

“I missed you too.” She laughed, and Ryan watched silently from the couch with awe in his eyes. “Oh, Mr Haywood, I got you a coffee.” She nodded to the drinks on the counter as Belle released her, wandering back over to sit on the couch.

Ryan stood up as Belle sat down, walking towards Meg to pick up his coffee.

“Thank you, Meg. I’ll take it to work with me.”

“That’s what I thought.” She smiled. “Hey- have you eaten? I was gonna make Belle some pasta if you want to hang around?”

Ryan bit his lip. Honestly, he’d want nothing more than even more excuse to hang around Meg. For someone who spent almost eight hours a day in his apartment, they didn’t spend an awful lot of it together. Ryan savoured moments like these, when Meg returned and he could indulge in her company.

“I shouldn’t.” he glanced at his watch. “Traffic downtown is gonna be a nightmare. I should go.”

“Okay.” Meg smiled, unpacking the groceries she had also brought in with her. “Have a good day at work, Mr Haywood.”

“Ryan is fine.” He took a sip of the bitter coffee, hoping the heat from the cup would disguise the blush on his cheeks. There was something about the way Meg addressed him- _Mr Haywood_ , that always made his toes tingle. He needed to knock it off.

“Ryan.” She smiled. “Sorry.”

 _Fuck_ Ryan thought, slipping out the front door. Perhaps _Ryan_ was even worse, because now he was sweating at the back of his neck. Meg had been his babysitter for three weeks, but the initial obsession with her hadn’t faded. It was incredibly wrong- Meg was a young college kid with her whole life ahead of her. She didn’t need some pervy old man in his thirties with a six-year-old daughter lusting over her just to make twenty bucks an hour.

However, even Ryan didn’t have the self-control to stop his own mind wandering. Even at work, where he had once been so focused, he drifted off into thoughts about her. He wondered what she was doing, checking the time and imagining her and Belle playing, or watching TV. Around three, he knew Meg always put Belle down for a nap, and wondered what she did for an hour all on her own. Did she have a boyfriend that she invited over like in the movies? Ryan doubted Meg would disrespect his apartment like that, and deeper into his subconscious desires, he hoped she was single.

“You okay Ryan?”

Ryan looked up to see Lindsay, his PA, stood at his desk with a stack of paperwork.

“I’m fine.” He sat up, cheeks flushing red. “I… I drifted off. No big deal.”

Lindsay smiled. “Kid wearing you out?” she asked. Ryan swallowed thickly.

“Yeah. Ha-ha.” He laughed nervously. “That’s it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Most evenings, Ryan would make it back from the office around six, just in time for dinner. Even though he insisted she didn’t have to, Meg would cook a meal for both he and Belle and after the initial few weeks, would hang around and eat with them. Meg was an excellent cook- something he knew was rare in broke first-year college kids.

Around seven, Belle would usually be flagging into her plastic bowl so he would take her to bed, read her and story and tuck her in. Belle was a fairly well tempered little girl, and didn’t mind being tucked in and left with the light off in what used to be Ryan’s home-office and was now her bedroom.

Then, Ryan would return to the main room of the apartment where Meg would wash up the dishes, despite his insistence of her just leaving them for him to take care of later.

“I made the mess, I’ll clean it up.” She would always reply. Ryan would just smile.

He’d drop her back to her dorm room around half seven where she would politely say she’d see him tomorrow and he’d desperately watch her retreat to her room. Friday’s were the hardest days to say goodbye, knowing he wouldn’t see her until the following Monday. He cherished his weekends because it meant he could spend time alone with Belle- but the distinct absence of Meg Turney in the air was felt by them both.

“Daddy?” Belle asked one Sunday. “Can I have blue hair like Meg?”

Ryan smiled, ruffling her curls. “When you’re older, princess.”

“Meg’s the best.” Belle mused. “Isn’t she daddy?”

“She is.” He agreed. “I’m glad you like her so much.”

“Do you like her, daddy?”

Ryan blushed. It was a strange feeling- embarrassment in front of his own infant daughter. But the reality of the situation was, it had been harder and harder keeping Meg out of his thoughts, all hours of the day. Just the night before, he had _dreamed_ about her.

It was _really_ starting to become creepy.

“I do, baby.” He replied, trying to maintain composure. “I like her a lot.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ryan looked up, startled as a mound of paperwork was dumped on his desk.

“Dude, how fucking tired are you?”

Ryan rolled his eyes at Michael. The kid was a good friend- but he only had one setting. _Loud_.

“Kid keep you up last night?”

Ryan nodded, despite the lie. He hated that his co-workers had this image of a feral little girl, keeping him up all hours of the night- but it was easier than talking about the truth. He’d been up until three AM, after the sudden discovery of Meg’s twitter account (she _had_ set up his account _and_ told him to follow her…) obsessing over all her little interests and thoughts. Meg liked anything fantasy- and she loved to cosplay. Some of the costumes were fairly revealing. Ryan had tried really hard to stop scrolling.

“Dude, like, don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to have a couple little brats of my own… but I’m _not_ looking forward to that part.” Michael laughed. “I guess it’s worth it though, right? Your kid sounds pretty cool.”

“She is.” Ryan yawned. “She’s very… _cool_. I’m a lucky father.”

“Anyway.” Michael nodded to the paperwork. “Geoff wants to launch Theatre Mode.”

“Fuck.” Ryan rubbed his face with his hands, trying to wake himself up. _Theatre_ _Mode_ was the code name for a secret project Geoff had been working on for months. If it was finally launching… Ryan was going to find himself taking some late nights at the office.

Then, he smiled. Late nights meant more Meg. More Meg meant… well, more _Meg_.

“What are you smiling about?” Michael smirked. Ryan looked away quickly, towards his paperwork.

“Nothing.” He lied. “Just… happy for Geoff. That’s all.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Longer hours at the office meant longer hours for Meg at his apartment, and Ryan couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t enjoying it. He’d come home around nine, sometimes later, to find Meg sat cross legged on his sofa, watching a movie or playing the Xbox. She’s turn as soon as she heard the door open, beam a grin in greeting and Ryan’s heart would stutter.

It killed him that he couldn’t put Belle to bed every night, but she often told him on the weekends that Meg tucked her in just how she liked it and read her at least two stories until she fell asleep. On coming in at night, after greeting Meg, he would always creep into her room and kiss her gently on the forehead. He didn’t have the heart to wake her, but it was nice to be close.

Then, he would retreat to the main room and offer Meg a ride home. That went much the same as usual, his longing eyes following up the driveway of the student house she was living in with a bunch of other kids, fingers gripped tightly on the wheel and a strange buzzing in his gut.

He experienced relentless paranoia, all hours of the day as he wondered if she could tell of his infantile crush. Did Meg watch him ever, with the same intensity that he watched her? Could she sense that his eyes lingered on her mouth for a second or so too long when they talked? Could she hear the faint rumbling of his Mercedes, lingering in the street outside her residency for minutes after she had left? And most importantly, did she secretly find it creepy or endearing?

Ryan almost wished he could turn his feelings for her off like a switch. During the day, he tried his best to throw himself into work, thoughts only straying to her vibrant hair and bewitching eyes every few hours. His eyes would follow the clock as it rounded to eight-thirty every day when he could finally leave, and his foot would put a little more pressure than necessary on the gas when he raced home to see her.

Some nights, he didn’t even make it home by nine. It was a Thursday, when he had stayed behind in an over-running late meeting with Geoff and Jack until ten o’clock, catching the night-time traffic downtown and didn’t make it home until eleven. He had texted Meg that he was sorry, swearing to pay her for every single extra second. She hadn’t seemed to mind at all, half asleep in front of the television when he finally made it home.

The meeting wasn’t a one off- and Geoff had warned him that in the upcoming weeks before _Theatre Mode’_ s launch, they’d be occurring more and more. He told Meg this, and she made the horrific, genius decision of _just spending the night_.

Ryan was too choked up to even protest. Meg started bringing overnight bags with her in the mornings, and when he stumbled back into his apartment at eleven-thirty or later, it wasn’t uncommon for him to find her, unconscious on the couch.

By this time, it summer was looming and Meg’s classes were fewer than ever. She only had one or two a week, and they were mostly extra-credit assignments to end her first year. That made Ryan feel less guilty for putting her into the awkward situation of staying in his home for two, three days in a row- however, he still relished in the secret thrill of walking in to find her on the couch in tiny cotton shorts and tight-fitting vests, curled up in the armchair playing X-box, or passed out on the couch.

Some nights were so warm, she wasn’t even protected from his gaze by a blanket. Ryan would lurk in the doorway holding his breath for a minute or longer, praying she wouldn’t be awake to see him looming over her. It needed to stop- because every minute longer she spent around him, the urges increased in intensity.

Breakfast was usually the hardest part.

Ryan jerked off in the shower every morning- that was his daily routine- but now it felt weird, knowing Meg had just stepped out of the same bathroom, or sometimes, was next in. If anything, it gave thoughts of _her_ more of a chance to creep into his mind when he was distracted by his dick. The usual school-boy fantasies of celebrities with Hollywood smiles and impossible-curves weren’t really cutting it anymore. Every thought was tainted by blue hair and video-game themed cosplays.

Jerking off wasn’t really much of an option. Instead, Ryan would turn his shower ice cold and shiver as he dried off, stuffing himself into a suit before joining Meg and Belle for breakfast.

The first few times had been a little awkward, but Meg had been staying every other night for the last two weeks so the routine between her and Belle was set, the two laughing over fruit loops as Ryan’s bacon-and-eggs sat waiting for him on the counter. The apartment was too small for much of a table, so he had a “breakfast” bar with high up stools that looked directly into the kitchen. That was a mistake, because from where he usually sat, at the far end, he’d have the perfect view of Meg- bent over the counter as she reached across to Belle, fixing the little girls hair or cereal or juice. He _ogled_ her- taking in the way she had to tiptoe up slightly to reach all the way across, the way her pyjama shorts clung to the tops of her thighs and the way her back arched when she reached into the glass cupboards above the counter- the perfect height where she had to stretch her arms and the edge of her t-shirt would rise above the waistband of her shorts, giving him the slightest glance at her tanned back.

A loud clatter drew Ryan from focus, when he realised he had dropped his fork.

“I’ll get you a new one!” Meg jumped to bend over and grab it at the same time he did, their hands brushing together for a moment before his went limp and she took the fork. Touching Meg’s skin felt like _electricity_ to him, but she seemed unbothered- rinsing the fork off in the sink and pulling him a new one from the drawer.

“Silly daddy!” Belle giggled.

“Yeah.” Meg agreed, leaning against the counter and smiling, folding her arms across her chest. “Silly daddy.”

Ryan gritted his teeth.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ryan kept a wide berth from Meg after that.

Breakfast, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, had shaken him. He woke up extra early in the mornings, and was usually out the door right as Meg and Belle were sitting down to chew their multi-coloured cereal, his breakfast untouched on the side. His conversations with her around lunch and in the late hours were rushed- he always had ‘work’ to take care of, or spent as much of his time as possible talking to Belle, asking her for every insignificant details of her day.

He worked even _later_ hours, praying every night that Meg would already be asleep by the time he came home. Most of the time she was- in which he would rush past her without a second look and step straight into the shower. Jerking off had been hastily withdrawn from his lifestyle, as he tried to wean himself off the Meg-Turney obsession.

Unlike before, when he had admired her silently and embarrassingly, Meg noticed this shift in his behaviour.

It started in the mornings. She didn’t make his breakfast anymore, but would eye the space he used to sit until he came rushing out of the bedroom, a mumbled goodbye and a kiss for Belle until he flung himself out of the door. Then, at lunch, he would feel Meg watching him, silently as he blundered through conversation with a six-year-old, focusing with a level of intensity to rival a political debate.

She had noticed. It surprised him, because she hadn’t batted an eyelid before, when he had been grotesquely lusting over her. But now, when he was trying his best to behave more appropriately, she had noticed. Meg’s eyes were rimmed with concern and confusion when she watched him, rushing about the apartment and avoiding her at every turn. Underneath that, he could tell that she was curious about what had caused such a sudden personality transplant.

Her gaze made him sweat, and for the first time, Ryan cherished the hours he spent in the office.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

This went on for several weeks, until one Wednesday Lindsay entered his office with the _wonderful_ news that he was finishing early. He eyed the clock.

It was only seven-thirty. At this rate, with even the worst of the Austin traffic, he’d been home by nine. Nine PM! Meg certainly wouldn’t be asleep. He could imagine her, curled into the corner of the couch or sat in the armchair, playing Overwatch or Limbo- her recent favourites.

He was _fucked_ \- because the traffic was average and by the time he had circled the almost-empty parking lot of his building for an ‘ideal’ spot, followed by twenty minutes of pretending to check his email in front of the elevator, it was only just eight forty-five. Ryan prayed that Belle had thrown an out-of-character tantrum and refused to go bed. Anything to avoid the opportunity of alone time with Meg.

His heart was racing as he slipped the key into the door, already anticipating the surprised look on Meg’s face. He hadn’t even mustered up the courage to text her when he left the office, so she wouldn’t be expecting him for at least another two hours. She was probably just as put-off as he was.

“Home early, Mr Haywood?”

 _Fuck_. Ryan nodded. “Yeah, uh- we finished up quicker than expected.” He mumbled, daring enough to look over at her.

Ryan held his breath. Meg’s shorts were pink with white stripes down the sides, and the camisole was thin and cream. Her hair was down, messy and vibrant around her shoulders. Her legs were crossed, feet bare against the soft couch material. She wasn’t even playing Xbox- a movie was playing quietly, but she didn’t seem to be paying it much attention. Ryan squinted at the screen.

“What are you watching?” he asked. Meg looked over.

“Oh. _Lolita_.” She said. “It’s one of my favourites.”

Ryan cursed inwardly. _Fucking Lolita_. He thought. _How fitting._

Meg leant forwards to grab the TV remote off the coffee table, allowing Ryan foolishly to allow himself a glance at her back as the skin was exposed underneath her top. When she sat back up, the movie was paused and she had swivelled around to sit sideways on the couch, facing him by the door.

“I’m kinda glad you’re home early.” She said, shifting awkwardly and sitting up, legs pulled towards her chest. Ryan watched as she looked to the floor, sheepish. He had never seen Meg be anything _but_ confident before. The quiet, filthy part of his mind liked it a lot. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Swallowing, Ryan set his briefcase down by the door and approached the couch stiffly. He didn’t sit down at first, one hand tucked awkwardly in his trouser pocket as he rested his jacket over the armchair beside the couch.

“Oh really?” he asked, hoping the shake in his voice wasn’t obvious. “What’s… uh- what’s that about, then?”

“Just…” Meg looked up from the floor to stare at him, before tucking her legs even closer in, and nodding for him to sit beside her. Ryan bit his lip, and sat at the other end of the couch. He wished it was five times bigger- but the one-person apartment wasn’t designed for that. His couch was barely a two seater, and even with Meg pushed up against the armrest, he could steel feel the warmth of her skin, her foot just touching the side of his thigh. “Are you okay, Mr Haywood?”

“Uh…”

“-Sorry,” she ran a hand through her hair. “ _Ryan_. Are you okay? It’s just… you seem, distant recently. With me? I didn’t know if maybe it was work… or if, like, I’d done something wrong?”

“No!” Ryan exclaimed, a little more overzealous than he had intended. Meg looked vaguely startled, and he felt a dulled blush rise to his cheeks. “No- Meg.” He lowered his tone slightly. “You’ve done… you’re perfect! Honestly. I couldn’t ever… find a babysitter more perfect than you. You’re…” _beautiful_ lingered on his tongue as he watched her, eyes round and worried. He’d adored her face countless times, but rarely got the chance to see her without her glasses. She looked simultaneously older, wiser, yet more youthful. Her eyes were smaller without the lenses, but her eyelashes were long and full, even without makeup.

“I’m… what?” she asked, half a laugh blowing from her lips. Meg reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and lowered her legs, shifting to sit up slightly with her legs tucked underneath her, one foot skimming the floor. She was still turned into him, and as she changed position her legs brushed against his for a fleeting few seconds. Ryan fisted cushion that was laid on the other-side of him.

“Lovely.” He settled on. “You’re… you’re lovely, Meg.”

“Really?” she asked, genuine disbelief in his voice. Suddenly, beside him, she looked small. Both her hands were clasped together in her lap, but after he spoke, one reached forwards hesitantly, ghosting over his before daringly, settling above it. “You really think of me like that?”

Ryan swallowed thickly. Meg couldn’t be… _coming on_ to him, right? She was… _everything_ \- young and beautiful and glowing. Meg was the kind of girl who could get attention from any guy- but there she was, long slender fingers curling around his, dark eyes darting across his face. She was giving all the signs- but Ryan didn’t want to presume. _Besides_ , the reasonable part of his consciousness told him, _what on earth would a girl like that want to do with a guy like you?_

“I do.” Ryan whispered, ignoring his rationale, which had been holding him back for so long. Suddenly, the more daring side of his brain was on _fire_ \- not that that had anything to do with the vague twitch in his pants. He turned his hand over, and held hers tightly. “I think all kinds of things about you, Meg.” He rolled her hand inside his, turning it around and stroking his fingers over the pulse point at her tiny wrist.

“Really?” she shifted closer to him, until her entire body was pressed against his side, sat up on her knees so her face floated just above his. All Ryan had to do was lean forwards, and he’d be kissing her. _Kissing Meg-_ he had dreamed about it for months. Would her lips move the way he imagined them to? Or would she surprise him? He wasn’t bothered so much about the semantics, he was just eager for chance to try it.

His rationale, however, was still distantly holding him back. Ryan was frozen, besides his fingers, which danced over Meg’s wrist and her forearm. Her breathing was slow and steadied, making her body run up and down the side of his arm. Ryan wondered what it would feel like to have her in his lap. Meg stared at him like she was thinking it too.

“Mr Haywood?” she asked quietly. “Is… do you…”

Her face was impossibly close to his by this point- the tucked away strand of her hair tumbling down to brush over both their faces. It smelled divine- floral and soft and light. Ryan wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to will away his-hard on if she insisted on being this close to him- but the tiny part of his brain that hadn’t been overcome by _her_ warned him of how quickly things _could_ go south if he misread the signals.

Because how _awful_ would that look? Achievement Hunter’s Deputy Chief of Communications, ravishes young baby-sitter in seedy apartment whilst six-year-old daughter sleeps in the next room. The press would have a field day.

But then- there was Meg, breath tickling his lips and hair caressing his jaw. Upon leaning forwards, she had pushed their entwined hands down by his hip, and was squeezing onto it like if she let go- he’d disappear.

“You can ask me anything, Meg.” He said, when her question disintegrated on her lips. “Don’t ever be shy. Not in front of me.”

Meg watched him for a few more seconds, her eyeballs glistening as they shook, taking in every detail of his face. Ryan felt like a piece of bacteria underneath a microscope as she examined him, eyebrows furrowed like she was dramatically considering her next move.

“Anything.” He said quietly. “Anything you want. I’ll give it to you.”

The moment their lips touched, it was like a light switch had been turned on inside Ryan’s brain. It was like- his entire life up to that moment had been completely black and white, and as her mouth brushed against his, he made the switch to technicolour. Meg moved against him in all the ways he had previously only been able to dream- throwing a leg over his so she was straddling his thigh as he released his grip on her hand and moved up to run his fingers through her hair, as the other hand settled on her hip. Meg rocked her hips gently into his, pushing her entire torso up against his as her arms came to wrap around the backs of his shoulders and her face pushed against his, pushing and pushing until she was completely on top of him, Ryan laid back into the armrest of the couch.

Once he’d had a taste, Ryan couldn’t help himself to stop- not that Meg seemed to be complaining. Within minutes, he had one hand down her tiny, teasing shorts, feeling over the soft material of her panties, the other hand was up her shirt, squeezing around her breast gently as she moaned for more into his mouth, her own nimble fingers fumbling to unbuckle his belt one handed as the other was keeping her stable, rested by his head on the armrest.

She found her way in fairly quickly, and didn’t waste time- plunging her hand into his boxers to grip Ryan’s cock gently. However, it was more than enough pressure for him- _fuck_ , he hadn’t been morally able to jerk off in weeks, and the moment her fingers brushed his boxers, he felt the same electricity he had when their hands touched at breakfast, weeks and weeks ago. How things had gotten here, he still wasn’t entirely sure- but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Meg played with his cock like she had trained for it. It seemed impossible- but she knew exactly what he liked and how he liked it, jerking him off quickly with little twists of her wrist as he huffed and grunted encouragingly into her mouth. It was as if suddenly, he was completely at the mercy of her beautiful, manicured hands and she _knew_ how much he loved it, if the tiny little smirk in her kisses was anything to go by. She barely had to jerk him off for a few minutes before Ryan could feel the hum of his orgasm building and new that if she didn’t stop now- he’d never get the chance lay her down like he really wanted to.

“Stop, stop,” he whispered, running kisses up her neck and against her ear. Meg drew her hand back instantly, resting it on his abdomen as he sat the both of them up, cradling her jaw with one hand as he pulled her into his lap with the other. “Keep that up, I’ll be finished before we even start.”

Meg laughed softly, but it was interrupted by a sudden moan as Ryan played with the lobe of her ear between his teeth. She was completely straddled in his lap by his point, but hadn’t yet removed a single item of clothing.

“Here.” Almost as if she could read his mind, Meg leant back from Ryan’s touch and shifted back off his lap so she could pull her shorts off, followed quickly by her vest. Ryan did the same, fumbling as he rushed to unbutton his shirt after he had slipped his pants off. Meg laughed, leaning over to help him out but ultimately distracting him with kisses and the slow, teasing bump of her crotch into his.

“Here’s the deal.” She mumbled against his jaw. “I don’t have a condom on me- and I really don’t want you to get up and have to root through your bedroom for an hour and a half whilst I wait. So- if you can make me come with your hands, I promise I’ll let you come in my mouth.”

Ryan groaned at just her voice. All the months he had heard Meg talk- about princess’ and Xbox and _My_ _Little_ _Pony_ \- when really, he could’ve been listening to her like _this_? She was _filthy_ and she _knew it_ , grinning as she took his hand and pushed it in the direction of her panties.

Ryan leant forwards and kissed her with more fervour, because now that he had the image of his cock in Meg’s mouth, it was hard to look forwards to anything short of her screaming his name in the next few minutes. He was pretty talented with his hands- or at least so he’d been told by previous partners- so with confidence he leant into Meg until she was laid back against the opposite end of the couch, and splayed a hand over her hip, so just his thumb was tucked into the underside of her soft panties, the rim of the lace tickling his palm.

He ran it over her clit teasingly, grinning into the side of her neck as she made the most delightful of noises, little squeaks and moans as he ran long strokes from her clit to the edge of her hole, teasing around the area before retreating back North, over and over until she was a wet, squirming mess, mumbling not much more than his name, followed by a string of obscenities and his new favourite thing to hear her say-

“Please.”

Without warning, Ryan pushed two fingers in alongside his thumb, plunging them inside of her. Meg almost shrieked- before he covered her mouth with his free hand- and arched her back, closing her eyes tightly and throwing her head back against the cushions at the end of the couch.

“Sh sh sh.” He whispered against her ear, pressing the pad of his thumb into her mouth where she sucked around it willingly as he stilled his movements inside of her. “This apartment’s walls are thinner than you think.”

Wordlessly, Meg nodded, squirming and pushing her hips up in an attempt to get more friction from him. Grinning at how the tables had turned, Ryan curled his fingers inside of her and pushed against her clit, _hard_ , making her lips lift up from the couch completely and a whine to escape her lips.

“Oh, right there, huh?” he asked. She nodded. “How long do you think you could hold out, like this, without coming? Five minutes? Ten?”

“ _Ryan_.” It was muffled against his hand, over her mouth, but he could make out his name clearly enough as Meg’s toes curled into the sofa cushions when he changed his thrusts to small curls against the one spot that was driving her to desperation. “ _Please_.”

“Alright, fine- I won’t be cruel, tonight.” He pushed into her a few more times, before working his thumb back over her clit, but faster and with more pressure. He’d lifted his thumb from her mouth but still had it covered with his hand, so he could feel her teeth grinding together behind her lips as she threw her head backwards again, and did her best to be quiet. “That’s it.” Ryan mumbled directly into her ear, teasing his tongue and teeth over the lobe as he thrusted his fingers into her harder, making the couch shake. “Come on, Meg. That’s it. Come for me, baby.”

Meg complied, a moan escaping even the confines of Ryan’s hand as her legs shook uncontrollably and her inner walls clenched. It lasted for a few seconds, so Ryan pulled out of her gently, but continued to run his thumb over her clit as the orgasm ran through her, hips rolling against him uncontrollably.

Once she regained the ability to lay still, Ryan removed his hands from her panties and uncovered her mouth. She opened her eyes for the first time in minutes, looking up at him with a worn out, lazy smile that Ryan couldn’t help but return.

“Fuck. You’re good at that.” She panted. “Unfair. How the _fuck_ did you get so good at that?”

Ryan shrugged, a little caught off guard. He’d never heard Meg swear before- or at least, not in conversation. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. “Practice. I don’t know. Natural gift?”

Meg laughed. “What a blessing.” She said, sitting up and pushing her hair back, which had become stuck with sweat against her forehead. “Still,” she panted. “Deals a deal.”

For a few seconds, Ryan had no idea what she was going on about. He’d become so invested in _Meg_ , being given such access to every intimate part of her, that he’d forgotten even about himself. He looked down as Meg reached forwards to hold his cock. It was still rock hard.

“Kept it up all this time?”

“You underestimate me.” he smiled, letting her push his chest so he relaxed against the sofa, sat dead in the centre with her perched at his side, playing with his cock as if it intrigued her, gentler strokes of her fingers across the head and down the shaft, a rub of her knuckles across his balls. It was nice, but it wouldn’t be enough. He needed her mouth- wet and warm and almost as inviting as the thought of being insider her for real. It would do, for now.

Meg smiled tucking her hair back behind her ears again before climbing off the couch and settling on her knees at the floor beneath him, leant up on his thighs. She smiled up at him- that same wide, _dazzling_ smile she had given him when they first met. Ryan leant back against the couch, astounded. His deepest, darkest, most sordid fantasy- and it was coming _true_.

She wasn’t at all hesitant, leaning forwards to take the entirety of his cock in her mouth, just pushing at the beginning of her throat. Ryan had been with people before who were intimidated by the size of his _appendage_ (not that he had ever thought it that impressive), but Meg seemed to take it in her stride, leaning in to take it further, and using her hand to fist the bottom and guide it deeper and deeper into her mouth. Sometimes, she would lick around the head until his toes curled- other times she would lean off it all the way before pushing it back in, right up until her nose was touching her knuckle, at the base.

It was fucking impressive- and it was no surprise when, within an embarrassing amount of minutes, Ryan was coming. He reached forwards without thinking and grabbed her hair, but Meg didn’t let it faze her, pushing his cock deeper and swallowing around the cum that shot to the back of her throat. She pulled back after he had finished, releasing her hair apologetically, but continued to lick and kiss at the sticky head until his breathing regulated back to normal pace.

“That’s uh… that’s a pretty impressive technique you’ve got there.” He said. Meg smiled, reaching to the floor for her shirt and pulling it back over her head.

“Thanks.” She grinned. “Promise is a promise.”

“I… uh…” Ryan watched her, lost for words as she stood, pulling her shorts on and turning to catch her reflection in the glass of the television so she could fix her hair. “I… it’s not that late still.” He glanced the time in the corner of the TV. _22:04_. “I can… you can stay here or I can drive you home if you’d like, uh.”

“I’ll… go home.” Meg nodded, reaching beside the couch for her converse, which he hadn’t seen. “Thanks for the offer though.”

“Right.” Ryan nodded. “I’ll… I’ll just go to the bathroom for a second.”

“Sure thing.” She smiled. Ryan’s heart stuttered.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The drive over to Meg’s place was completely silent.

She didn’t look at him, for the most part, just pulled her University of Texas hoodie tightly around her torso and stared out of the window at night-time Austin. Ryan kept the radio playing, louder than necessary, because he couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

It felt like hours before he made it to Meg’s house. Really, it was only twenty minutes.

“Thanks for the ride home, Mr Haywood.” She said, opening the door.

“Anytime Meg.”

“Get home safe.” She gave him one last smile, before climbing out the passenger seat. “Belle’s still there waiting for you.”

 

 


	2. PART TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miscommunication is the worst, right?

PART TWO

 

 

 

 

She arrived Monday morning with her overnight bag just the same as she did every Monday, but there was a definite shift in the air between them. And how couldn’t there be? Ryan felt guilty every time he looked over at the couch, remembering what had gone on only nights before. Meg didn’t say anything about it, but it was clear it was on her mind by the way she avoided conversation with him, instead focusing all her attention instead on Belle.

“I was thinking today, we could take a walk down to the park? Would you like that?”

“Yeah, Meg!”

Ryan swallowed thickly around his coffee, his free hand loosening the tie that had him in a chokehold. He looked at Meg, but she did not look back at him. The clock above the stove ticked.

“I should be leaving. Have… uh, have a good day, both of you.” He looked at Belle, who smiled and waved and cooed _bye daddy_ , before looking back over to Meg. She barely held his eye contact for a second, instead glancing at the floor.

“Bye. Mr Haywood.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Awkwardness would be an understatement.

The next week or so of Meg’s services was possibly the worst week of Ryan’s life. The tension that had been so ongoing and tender between them had snapped on one of Ryan’s many poor, poor decisions, and now he was paying the price.

Because Meg could hardly look at him.

And he couldn’t blame her. every time he saw her face he could only remember how beautiful it had looked covered in a thin sheen of sweat, eyes closed tightly as she called out his name. every time he wandered into the living room, his eyes were trained on the couch and the memory of them, being there together in the dead of the night.

It was terrible. _He_ was a terrible man. He’d developed a seedy obsession with a girl who was barely out of high school, and had then proceeded to take advantage of their professional relationship. There were words for men like him. Words Ryan never thought he could think about himself.

“You alright buddy?” Geoff asked him over lunch. Ryan looked up, and realised he’d spent the last ten minutes staring at his burger rather than eating it, as Geoff watched silently.

“Sorry.” He said, placing it back down, uneaten, on the plate. “Guess I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Kid stuff?” Geoff asked. Ryan bit his lip, and after careful consideration of how much he was going to lie to his boss and friend, shook his head. “ _Oh_ ,” Geoff smirked, leaning over the table. “Girl stuff?”

Ryan blushed.

“Ha! I knew it.”

“Aright.” Ryan rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair. “Let’s just say there’s this girl. I really like her but… she’s very young.”

Geoff raised a suspicious eyebrow. “How young we talking?”

Ryan looked down at his fries, ashamedly. “she’s twenty. Freshman, college.”

“Jesus.” Geoff leant backwards, somewhat shocked. “That’s _young_. She can’t even fucking _drink_ yet, Ryan, how the hell did you meet a fucking college freshman?”

There, Ryan had an option. He could, on one hand come clean to Geoff and reveal the girl he’d been obsessing over was none other than the babysitter _he_ had recommended, but somehow he didn’t think Geoff would appreciate the idea of the girl who used to look after his kid slipping into Ryan’s bed. So, with a sweatiness clinging to his palms and a wet swipe of his tongue across dry lips, he invented a lie in his head.

“She cuts Belle’s hair.” He started small. All the best lies were most believable when they didn’t include an overwhelming amount of detail. “I liked her from the moment I saw her, I just wasn’t sure if she was interested. Then she came over the other night and we… well, you get the picture. Now, things are dreadfully awkward every time she comes over… to cut Belle’s hair.”

“How often are you getting that kid’s hair cut?” Geoff scoffed. “Do little girls even get split ends?”

“Belle likes it short.” He lied. Belle loved her hair and every inch of it was precious. Her golden curls were volumes, and beautiful, hanging down past her shoulders. Every evening, he would watch Meg brush it adoringly as Belle sat patiently on the floor between her knees, eyes fixated on the television or whatever book she was interested in. “It’s just a faze, they say.”

“Right.” Geoff nodded, but Ryan got the sense that he didn’t believe for a second Ryan was telling him the full story. “So you fucked a twenty-year-old and now you’re looking for what- a way out?”

“More… the opposite.” Ryan admitted. “I really like her. We get on well, despite the… age gap. More than anything I just… don’t want things to be awkward. Belle really likes her and I just don’t want to see her go.”

“Jeez.” Geoff sighed, and not for the first time that day. For a few seconds, he was silently in thought, wiry brows furrowed into a frown. “Here’s the thing Ryan. What a twenty-year-old kid wants, you can’t give. She doesn’t want to play step-mom to a six-year-old. However, if you wanna give this whole thing a go- _short-term_ , you need to talk to the girl. Sit her down, have a chat over coffee or something. Get all this shit off your chest, because, to be honest, I’m sick of seeing you mope about like a sad puppy.”

“Wow.” Ryan glared. “Thanks for that inspiring advice.”

“I’m just being real with you man.” Geoff sipped his drink, whiskey, on the rocks. “What you want, and what a twenty-year-old kid wants are two very different things. Talk to her, find some middle ground. And hey- at least she’s legal!”

Ryan frowned to himself. _At least she’s legal_ didn’t feel like something to be celebrated at all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day after his conversation with Geoff, Ryan made the decision to leave work early. That way, he could see Belle to bed and then hang around to have a conversation with Meg. Because despite most of Geoff’s advice being pretty depressing, he was more than right in the fact that they definitely needed to talk. Meg was still avoiding all contact with him, and the thought of having to see her every day, knowing what they’d shared together and still hold her at arms-length was killing him.

Ryan made it in just after seven, as Meg was tying Belle’s hair up into a low ponytail so she could sleep comfortably. Ryan’s heart melted as his little girls’ eyes lit up when he walked through the door, and she jumped up on tiny feet before running over to him excitedly.

“Meg!” she called as Ryan lifted her up, holding her close to him and hugging her tightly. “Daddy’s home early!”

“He is.” Meg smiled, but she looked uncomfortable as their eyes met. “Maybe he’ll read you a bedtime story.”

“Daddy, please?!”

Ryan smiled. “Of course princess. You go pick one out and I’ll come in in just a sec, okay?”

He lowered Belle back to the ground and she ran off in the direction of her bedroom. That just left Meg and Ryan in the main room, staring at each other awkwardly. Ryan cleared his throat, breaking into the uncomfortable silence.

“We need to talk.” He said. “After I put Belle to bed I’d… I’d really like for us to have a talk. If that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah.” Meg nodded, eyes downcast. “That’s probably for the best.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Belle went off to sleep fairly quickly, only seven or so pages into _The Three Musketeers_ , her current reoccurring bedtime favourite. He left her with a delicate kiss on the forehead, and rubbed her soft her gently before standing up and walking out the room. Now, he needed to be serious.

Meg was waiting for him in the same spot on the couch where she had sat last time it had been just the two of them. However, this time she was dressed- casual blue jeans and a t-shirt, covered by a chunky knit cardigan. She looked narrow, squashed into the edge of the sofa with her feet planted on the floor. Slowly, Ryan rounded the corner and sat somewhat beside her, but kept himself constricted to the opposite end of the couch.

“I just want to start by saying that I’m sorry.” Ryan said, quietly. “Obviously I’ve made you feel very uncomfortable. That was never my intention, and-”

“-If you’re going to fire me, just get it over with already.” Meg cut in, but her voice shook and shattered the illusion of confidence she had tried to build. “I get it. You got what you wanted from me, and now you’re done. So if you want me gone, I’ll go.”

“ _What_? Is _that_ what you think is happening here?” Ryan asked incredulously. Meg furrowed her brow, confusion painted on her pretty face. She tucked a stray strand of blue hair back, behind her ear.

“What else would be happening here?”

“I like you!” Ryan blurted out. It was rushed, messy and unplanned, like most things he did. He’d been wracking his brain all day at work trying to figure out the perfect thing to say to her to make her aware of how he felt- but there it was. Out in the open. Three, little words.

“You like me?” she asked, and immediately her body language changed. She relaxed, turning slightly away from the edge of the sofa and more towards the middle, staring at him. Her cardigan fell down her shoulders slightly. “Like… for real?”

Ryan laughed. “Of course for real. Why else do you think I’m always so awkward around you? I… think you’re really quite… remarkable.”

“Oh, Mr Haywood!” Meg beamed, becoming animated as she grinned. “I like you too! I just thought… I dunno, I thought after the other night you just… got what you wanted and you were done. I thought you’d used me for your own… stupid needs and you didn’t actually care. The only reason I came back is because I couldn’t bear to just up and leave Belle without saying goodbye. I was convinced you were going to _fire_ me.”

“You really thought all that?” bravely, he reached across to the middle of the couch, and brushed his fingers ever so lightly against hers. Meg blushed.

“Yeah.” She nodded, looking downward. “I never thought in a million years that a big time businessman like you would even give me a second thought.”

“Meg, I think about you all the time.” He confessed. “Since the moment you got here, I’ve been in awe at you. I was so convinced I blew it after the other night- I thought I’d just let myself get carried away and I’d let myself take advantage. But really- if it’s quite alright with you, I’d like us to maybe…” he trailed off, unsure how to phrase it without being crude. Meg grinned up at him.

“You wanna do it again?”

“ _God_ yes-” without thought, she launched herself across the couch at him and sat in his lap, kissing him harshly. Ryan grabbed onto her waist and hips tightly, pulling them closer together and rubbing his hands all over the flesh he could make contact with, across her smooth back and over her stomach. “You’re so amazing.” He muttered, breaking from the kiss to leave tiny bites around her neck and ear. “I’ve been fantasizing for weeks about all the things I’d like to do to you.”

“So,” She whispered back, smirking against the side of his face as he left small kisses around the side of her neck. “Show me.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Ryan’s getting laid!” Michael announced, rather loudly to the small group that had gathered. He’d joined Geoff, Jack, Michael and their newest recruit- Jeremey, who’d just started on as Geoff’s new assistant. They all laughed at Michael’s outburst, eyes swivelling over to Ryan instantly.

He couldn’t help himself. He smiled. “Whatever Michael. You don’t know shit about my sex life.”

“Oh yeah?” Michael scoffed. “You’ve been practically _glowing_ over the last week. What’s your secret, then? Caviar on the skin?”

“I believe it’s pronounced- _craigslist_.” Geoff joked, sending the group of them off into more outrageous laughter. Ryan rolled his eyes, but he let them laugh. It was true, he probably had been _glowing_. Over the last week since he and Meg had come back together, he’d probably seemed the happiest he’d been in a long time.

Perhaps it was just the thought every day, of being able to go home and see _Meg_ , see his daughter, spend time with them both. Meg kept her up as long a she could so they could put Belle to bed together. After that, they had hours to themselves. Meg stayed over- but instead of sleeping on the couch, she slept in his arms, in his bed.

It was the perfect arrangement. For a while, Ryan almost forgot that he felt guilty.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Getting his fingers into Meg had been one thing, but being inside her completely was like a whole different ball park. Their harmony period had been going so well, with the past few weeks working like complete clockwork. From the hours of eight AM till eight PM, Meg was Belle’s babysitter. From the hours of nine PM till seven AM, she was _his_ , to do as he liked with.

She was pliant as anything in his bed, laid out on her back with her legs wrapped around his waist as rocked into hear, slow and steady. Her hair looked brighter than ever, fanned out against his cool white pillows and he couldn’t help but relish in the scent of it, his face buried in her neck where he was nipping and sucking tiny red marks. Her hands raked down his back, for sure leaving strips of irritated flesh as she scratched at him with bitten nails, but the added sting did nothing but fuel his arousal. He was having sex with _Meg-_ something before that had only been reserved to his sordid, dirty dreams. The very thoughts he had been repressing were unfolding night by night in his bedroom, and by the way Meg was pushing he head back into the pillows and arching her back as she clutched onto him, she certainly didn’t seem to mind.

“Are you going to be good to me?” he found himself asking her without much consideration, leaning up off her so he was only rocking into her with miniscule, baby strokes. “Are you?” he asked, reaching for her face, which was turned to the side. He hadn’t even meant to be rough- but something about how small and beautiful she looked beneath him brought out that side of Ryan that he hadn’t known existed. She didn’t seem to mind as his hand moved to her jaw, tilting her face so she had to look at him. “Answer me.” he told her.

“I will!” she whined, bucking her hips up to try and increase the friction between them. “Please, Ryan-”

“That’s not my name.”

“ _Mr Haywood!_ Please,” she panted, and Ryan’s entire body came over in tingles. It was a recent discovery between both of them- how much he enjoyed being addressed so formally by her pretty pink lips. “Please,” Meg continued. “Fuck me. Do it.”

He moved his hand around the curve of her face and down to her chest, where he rolled her right nipple between his fingers playfully. Meg let out another dulled moan, and he cursed under his breath, knowing she was trying her best to keep quiet. He’d have to find a night where they really could be alone- where he could make Meg scream as loud as she could manage.

Ryan’s hand then travelled back upwards, scooping behind her head to hold onto that beautiful blue hair as he thrusted into her, sudden and forceful, making her back arch further off the mattress. He could’ve stopped- he could’ve carried on teasing her until she was quivering mess, but he didn’t really have the patience anymore. She was driving him crazy by laying there, and he was way closer to climaxing than he wanted to admit. His grip on her hair was loose as he pounded into her, wary not to hurt her or push her too far. They hadn’t really had a proper talk about what was okay and what wasn’t- they had both just gone in blind and tried to figure out what the other liked and disliked. So far, he had guessed all Meg’s likes right, but there was still a part of him that wanted to wrap his hand around her pretty throat until she couldn’t make a sound.

He’d have to ask her about that first, to avoid any awkwardness. They’d probably need a safe word.

On her request, he wasn’t wearing a condom this time, so after she came shaking and whining, he pulled out and jerked himself off quickly, coming harshly over her toned abdomen before collapsing beside her. It had only been a few days since they’d last slept together, but his release felt long overdue. Perhaps that’s what she was doing to him. Stripping his ability to last without her.

Afterwards, with Meg laid in his arms, Ryan smiled contently.

“We should go away somewhere.” He found himself saying. “The Hamptons maybe- somewhere by the coast. A business partner of mine has a beautiful villa on the beach. We could go, you, me, Belle. Take a vacation. Together.”

“Lovely as that sounds, I don’t think I could get the time off school.” She replied, yawning. “Maybe once summer starts. Night rye.”

“Night Meg…” he said, but his voice was suddenly much less confident. Part of his agreement with Meg was that they weren’t _in a relationship_ \- but there they were, cuddling tenderly and whispering plans of romantic getaways with Belle in tow. Suddenly, Ryan wanted to show Meg the entire world, before wrapping it up in a ribbon and handing it to her as a gift. Meg deserved _everything_ he could give.

He was thinking about things far too long term.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed part 2 of 3!!!! please let me know what you thought by leaving kudos and maybe even dropping a comment below!
> 
> Also, I just hit my first K on tumblr! You can check out my blog @ PAPERSK1N.tumblr.com. Asks are open!


	3. PART THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan does some serious thinking about his and Meg's future.

PART THREE

 

 

When Ryan turned his key quietly in the door, the first thing he heard was faint sobbing.

A pain shot through his chest- he recognised the voice to be Belle’s within seconds. He tossed his briefcase down and all but ran in the direction of her bedroom. The apartment was dark- he’d worked especially late that particular night, and was more than looking forwards to rolling into bed to find Meg lying there beside him, but apparently, the universe had other plans. It didn’t even dawn on him that Meg was nowhere to be seen until he bounded into Belle’s room and spotted his daughter, laid in Meg’s arms crying quietly.

Both of them looked up when Ryan entered the room. Meg shot him a small, somewhat reassuring smile.

“Belle had a nightmare.” she told him.

Ryan approached the bed slowly, Belle not even looking up from where her face was buried into Meg’s chest. He gently sat down besides Meg, her knee pressing against his thigh from how her legs were crossed. She was in pyjamas- he concluded that she must have too heard Belle crying out, and rushed from his bed to check on her.

“Hey, baby…” Ryan whispered, reaching forwards to stroke at his little girl’s hair gently. “Daddy’s here. Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

Belle hiccupped as she spoke, but Ryan and Meg both did their best to listen. They leant in together, talked quietly in all the right places, and by the end of it all Belle was once again asleep, half in Meg’s lap, half in his.

Meg looked up at him and smiled, leaning upwards to kiss him gently. Ryan kissed her back, but something low and heavy fell into his gut. In the dark light of the room, Belle’s Disney princess night-light spinning pink hearts across her pretty face every few seconds, Ryan remembered how young she was. He could see it in her face- the youthfulness in her smile and the childish sparkle in her eye. Yet here she was, cradling his daughter in her thin arms like she was a mother.

Ryan did the math in his head. Belle was six, Meg was twenty. When Belle was born- when Ryan was in _college_ sleeping with whatever woman could bare him and studying a business degree, Meg was merely fourteen. He could imagine her, pretty-red hair and sparkling eyes, a tiny slight figure in the throes of development.

The thought made him sick, and suddenly, it all became far too much.

Once Belle was back comfortably in her bed, Ryan walked awkwardly out into the living room, rubbing the back of his neck. Stress strained his chest, and Meg followed him out, leaning against his back and wrapping her arms around his middle.

“Are you coming to bed any time soon?” she asked. Ryan exhaled, deeply.

“I…” he stiffened slightly, and Meg leant off him, sensing his unease. “I think that maybe it would be best if I took you home.”

Meg could tell something was wrong. It was obvious, every few silent seconds passed she would glance across the car at him with concern knitting her brow. Ryan kept his eyes forward. Neither said a word.

Ryan pulled up outside her home and she turned to look at him, sighing quietly. “What is it?” she asked as she climbed out of the car. Ryan shook his head.

“I’ll see you soon Meg.” He said quietly. “I’ll be in touch.”

Then, he sped off before he could catch sight of the tearful look on her face. Just imagining it broke his heart enough, and he knew that if he had caught it in person he’d have done an immediate U-Turn and swept her back into his arms.

But he couldn’t. it wasn’t right. He wasn’t right for her.

Something had to be done about it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_From Meg:_

_Have I done something wrong?_

_-_

 

 

_To: Meg_

_No. Not at all. It’s me. We should meet and talk._

 

_-_

 

_From: Meg_

_Coffee on 6th? Lunch?_

 

_-_

 

_To: Meg_

_I’ll be there._

* * *

 

 

Leaving Belle with a back-up sitter, ironically, another number presented by Geoff, Ryan grabbed his briefcase and headed out of the apartment.

“Any problems, I’ll be sure to call, Mr Haywood.” Gavin (a lanky British boy Geoff had apparently known for several years) said, both he and Belle waving him away. Ryan hoped he didn’t look to frantic as he dashed out of the room and into the hallway. He was desperate to see Meg and talk to her. Hours upon hours of thinking overnight had drawn him to the only conclusion he saw fit.

The coffee shop was fairly small, but in a busy enough area of town where they blended in with the other couples. Baristas and waitresses were too busy flitting between long queues and tables with waiting orders to eavesdrop as Ryan and Meg talked quietly.

She was wearing the soft pink hoodie he liked to see her wear late at night, curled up on the sofa as she watched TV. Ryan resisted the urge to reach over and stroke the material gently.

“So you don’t want me anymore?” she asked quietly. Ryan could see a few tears welling in her eyes, but Meg was stubborn. She’d never let him see her cry, even if it killed her.

“Don’t ever think that.” He said, reaching over and brushing his large fingers against her dainty ones, which were wrapped tightly around a cardboard coffee cup. “Meg, you’re so young and… so beautiful.” He stared at her face, taking in every detail. For all he knew, this could be the last time they ever saw each other, and he wouldn’t be able to bear not having the clearest memories of her that he could. “but like I said, you’re young. You can’t be _tied_ down by an old man like me with a baby and a career when you’ve got your _whole life_ ahead of you. It wouldn’t be fair if I did that. You understand, don’t you?”

Meg sighed, and for a second, Ryan wondered if he was going to get hot coffee thrown on his Valentino suit.

“I understand,” she said instead, nodding her head and sighing slightly. “I mean, it _sucks_ , but you’re right. I just… I like you so much, Rye.” Her bottom lip shook, and Ryan bit his own. He just knew that if she was going to start crying there and then, he’d whisk her up into his arms and never let her go again.

And that wasn’t what was right. Not even slightly.

“I love you Meg.” He confessed. “But that it isn’t fair. You should forget all about me.”

Meg stared at him silently across the table for what could’ve been mere minutes, but felt to Ryan like years. Then, after what he assumed to be careful thought and consideration, she rose out of the booth, leant over to kiss him sweetly on the cheek, and headed out the door of the café.

As he heard the bell of the door ring, tears welled and a stray few rolled down his cheek, spattering onto the table below.

He pulled out his phone and texted Gavin.

 

_On my way home now. We should talk about you being my new regular babysitter, if you’d like._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry.
> 
> Second of all, if it reassures you, there is an epilogue! I'll post it in a few days.


	4. EPILOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six Years Later

Epilogue 

 

 

“Kid keep you up all night?” Ryan teased as Lindsay walked into his office, visibly tired with her red fringe askew and her usually bright eyes dull. She glared at him, raising her middle finger.

“Toddlers… they’re tiring. Not that you’d know- you skipped out on the hard part, right?”

Ryan chuckled. “Hey, I’ve got a twelve-year-old at home and puberty is starting! I walked in on her crying because I bought chocolate pudding instead of vanilla yesterday.” After he spoke, Ryan looked across his desk at the small collection of photos he had of him and Belle. Gavin appeared in a few too, the three of them smiling together. His eyes lingered on one taken when she was small and innocent, around six years of age. Ryan did miss the tiny Belle he’d been introduced too- blonde curls and pretty blue eyes. She was still beautiful now, but usually wore a pouty frown adorned in cherry lip-gloss rather than a wispy smile.

Lindsay dropped a stack of files on his desk. “Here’s your new project. Read through those, fill out the paperwork and get it back to me by the end of the week.” She ordered. Ryan smiled at her.

“I like you better now that you’re the department boss.”

Lindsay rolled her eyes. “Couldn’t be your assistant forever. Speaking of which,” she tucked a pen behind her ear and looked down at her notes. “Your new assistant starts today. Young girl, twenty-six I think she said she was.” She then glanced up at him, and smiled coyly. “Pretty too.”

“Don’t try and set me up. _Again_.” He glared. Lindsay held her hands up in surrender.

“Listen, all I’m saying is she’s cute.” She backed out of the office. “I’m pretty sure she’s on her way in now so, you know, don’t be your usual awkward self and scare her off. Nothing wrong with a little inter-office romance.”

Ryan hummed vaguely in reply and instead went back to sorting through the paperwork Lindsay had dropped off to him as she backed out the room. Twenty or so minutes of filling and writing flew past in a blur, and the only thing Ryan was even slightly distracted by was the reminder flashing up on his phone (probably set by Gavin) that he had promised to take Belle to the movies later.

“Mr Haywood?” a knock on the door along with a nervous voice distracted him. It was smooth, intelligent sounding but also high pitched, childish. Ryan froze, and slowly, he looked up.

Her glasses had changed. They were a deep purple colour, framing her pretty face and highlighting her hair, which was a matching shade. It fell in deep curls around her shoulders, spilling over the white collared dark grey pinafore dress she wore. It had been six years, and despite the spark of youth in her eyes not being so strong as she froze and stared at him, Meg looked almost exactly the same.

“M-Meg?” he dropped his pen from his hand, and stared at her with his mouth agape. She didn’t move from the door.

“Ryan!” she seemed, quite rightly too, surprised. Not devastated, angry or hurt- like he’d expected in all the imagined fantasies he’d had of seeing her again. In fact, she even gifted him with one of her winning, gleaming smiles, and then, slowly, approached his desk. “I can’t- when I saw my new boss was called Mr Haywood I thought- I just thought it had to be a coincidence. It was too good to be true but… here you are.”

“Here I am.” He echoed. Still, he hadn’t moved, and was staring up at her. “And here you are. You’re still-” he stopped himself, as a slight pink blush raised on her cheeks. _Beautiful_ , he wanted to say- but that would probably be out of place.

“How’s Belle?” she asked instead, eyes darting over to one of the photos on his desk, taken more recently by Gavin. It was Belle, in a pretty pink dress with her hair curled beautifully before her school dance. “She’s… all grown up!”

“She is.” He nodded. Then, after a pause, “She still remembers you. She always used to ask me why you had to go away and I used to just say you moved away.”

“I sort of did.” She shrugged, and smiled. “LA. Had to get out of the south for a few years- transferred college and everything. I just moved back, last month after finishing my degree.”

“That’s amazing. You’re finished in college and working here?”

“Just temporary.” She said, cheeks slightly pink. “My major’s in Journalism and Media so, Rooster Teeth is a pretty good place for me to get started and build a resume.” She glanced away, tucking a curl behind her ear as he looked up at her with nothing short of longing. She’d noticed, this time, straight away how much he cared for her. Six years had passed but his feelings hadn’t changed. He’d missed her, far more than Belle ever could. Countless times over the years he’d picked up his phone and hovered over her number, wishing he could muster the confidence to contact her. Every time, he stopped himself at the last second.

And then here she was, stood in front of him with her arms wrapped around a bright pink folder looking sheepish and beautiful and most of all, present.

“Meg,” he sighed. “I… I know it’s probably… _not appropriate_ but, I missed you. A lot. I still do sometimes and I’m just sorry that-”

“-Hey,” she interrupted him, still smiling. “Let’s not dwell on the past. Do you wanna maybe go out for coffee, sometime? Do a lunch?”

“Like a date?” he asked, boldly. Meg laughed.

Ryan could’ve listened to that laugh on repeat a thousand times. He didn’t realise how much he’d missed just the sound of it. This time, he was ready. He wasn’t going to push her away twice.

“Sure.” She replied, grinning. “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know in the comments what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> My new turnwood fic, hope you like it. For some reason, when I write turnwood it's always Explicit? I'm a mess.
> 
> Comments/Questions/Kudos as always appreciated below! And hey, who knows- maybe this will be the next of my fics Meg ends up telling Ryan about. If I'm reeeeaaalllllyyyy lucky.


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